Doença masculina: o Brasil do 17

This is the male desease. It’s called being full of shit.

The male disease includes the need to be in charge at all times. In charge, in control, in command. A real man sees himself as king of the hill, leader of the pack, captain of the ship. All the while, in order to fit in and belong, he has to act like all the other men and do the what they do so he’ll be accepted and get a good job and a promotion, and a raise, and a Porsche, and a wife. A wife who will inmediatelly trade in the Porsche on a nice sensible Dodge van with folding seats so the can be like all the other boring families.

The poor fuck. The poor stupid fuck.

His manlyness also requires that he refuse to go to a doctor or a hospital unless it can be demonstrated to him that he has in fact been clinicaly dead for six months. “No sense going to the hospital honny, I don’t seem to be in a coma”. Therefore he must learn to ignore pain. “It doesnt really hurt, bleeding from six hole in the head desn’t really hurt. Just give me the remote and get me a beer and get the fuck outta here!”

Most men leart this stupid shit from their fathers. Fathers teach their sons not to cry “Don’t let me hear you crying or I’ll come up ther and give you somthing to cry about”. Great stuff huh. All the problems in the world, repeat, all the problems in the world can be traced to what fathers do to their sons. So little boys learn to hide their feelings and society likes that because that way when they get to be 18 they will be able to go overseas and kill strangers without feeling anything. And of course that bargain includes a certain reluctant willingness to have their balls shot off. “Honey I have to go overseas and have my balls shot off or else the rest of the guys will think I’m too afraid to go overseas and have my balls shot off”

The poor fucks. The poor stupid fucks.

And so as a result of this repression of feelings the extent of the average man emotional expresions is the High Five or sometimes when really deep feelings emerge, both hands, the High Ten. This is raw emotion! And that’s about all they’re capable of, and they have dad to thank. Thanks dad.

But wait, don’t think dads can be fun at times too. After all, dads intruduce their sons to the Wonderful World of Men. The male subcultures, the really tough guy masculine He-Man stuff; No wimps, no pussies, no softies. There are five deadly male subcultures and they all overlap: The car an machinery culture, the police and military culture, the outdoors and gun culture, the sports and competition culture, and the drug and alcohol culture; and as a bonus I’m going to throw in one more, the Let’s go get some pussy and beat the shit outta queers culture. As I say they all overlap, many men belong to all six.

This male universe is of course detectable by analyzing its combustible chemical formula: gasoline, gunpowder, alcohol and adrenaline. A chemistry rendered even more lethal by that ever-present, ever delightful accelerant: testosterone. Talk about substance abuse? If it’s chemical dependency you’re interested in you might wanna look into testosterone.

TESTOSTERONE!

The most lethal substance on Earth and it does not come from a laboratory, it comes from the scrotum. A scrotum located interestingly enough not far from the asshole, how fitting? And as it happens all this male subcultures share a particular set of features: Homophobia coupled with an oddly ironic complete childlike trust in male authority; men are attracted to powerful man. They also share a strong fear and dislike of women and this in spite of a pathological obsesion with pussy.

TESTOSTERONE!

So why are men like this? I think the overriding problem for men is that in life’s main event, reproduction, they’re left out, women do all the work. What do men contribute? Generally they’re just looking for a quick parking space for some sperm. Couple of hits of hot jism and the volume of the TV goes back right up. It’s my belief that most of this flawed male chromosomes should not be allowed to go forward for one more unfurtunate generation but such as biology. And so, excluded as they are from reproduction men must find other ways to useful and worthwhile as a result they measure themselves by the size of ther guns, the size of their cars, the size of their dicks and the size of their wallets; all contests that no man can win consistently.

And let me tell you why all of this happen. Because women are the source of all human life. The first human being came from the belly of a female and all human fetuses begin as females. The brain itself is female until hormones act on it to make it structurally male, so in reality all men are modified females. Where do you think those nipples came from guys? You are an afterthought. Maybe that’s what’s bothering you. Is that what’s on your mind bunky? That would explain the hostility. Women got the good job, men got the shitty one. Females create life, males end it: War, crime, violence are primarily male franchises, man shit it’s nature supreme joke.

Deep in the womb men start out as the good thing and wind up as the crappy thing. Not all men, just enough, just enough to fuck things up. And the dumbest part of it all is that not only do man accept all this shit, half of it they do it themselves.